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There is no doubt that a relationship breakup is a very distressing experience to go through. Your life is suddenly turned upside down. You have lost someone you depend on for love and support and of course this will leave big hole in both your life and heart. It could have been expected or it may have been a very bad surprise but however it took place the main objective now is surviving the first few days, starting self healing and thinking about what you want to do next.

Sometimes people will completely flip out when their partner finishes with them. They will scream, insult and swear at their ex and sometimes really act like crazy people. This reaction is quite normal, as is the opposite reaction, being that of shocked silence. There is no real way to know how you will react under this type of stress, especially so if you had no idea it was coming. Reactions are just immediate, knee-jerk responses to situations we find ourselves in and as we are all individual, having differing circumstances, there is a very wide range and intensity of reaction.

Whatever you did, however you have reacted at this point, put it behind you. What you need to do is consider the future. The reason for the breakup is also almost irrelevant too, in a way. If you have behaved badly towards your ex, having an affair or indulging in a dubious lifestyle, make today the day you start your life afresh. If you did nothing to alienate your ex but you know the the reason for the relationship breakup was your partner being unfaithful, or maybe you just grew apart by having different interests. Again, start this new era of your life positively today. Take this time on your own as an opportunity to discover new interests and hobbies - you must if necessary force yourself to go out, even to the local park for a walk, selecting a few interesting books from the library or having a good workout or class at your health club, you will find it will get easier and more enjoyable each time.

The first subject to consider after your relationship breakup is the issue of getting back with your ex partner. Do you really want to? Do you feel you have lost your great love, your real soulmate? Or, is it just a fear of being alone that is making you so desperate? There is no point pursuing a plan to get back with your ex if really you will just break up again in the near future. You need to be sure this person is your true love. If you have no hesitation and want to get back together then do not under any circumstances reveal any of this to your ex. If you do not truly think you have lost the love of your life then make an effort to mentally move on, nurse your wounds, reconnect with your social life and emerge from this experience a wiser, better person.

For those totally focused on getting back with an ex, the first stage in the reconciliation plan is rather strangely to cut all contact completely and immediately. Absolutely no texting, no calling, meeting by accident or worse still following your ex. Also, no asking friends or relatives to do any of the above either. The simple act of the no contact rule will immediately cause your ex to wonder what you are doing or thinking. This is just human nature. He or she will likely be expecting you to try to contact and they will secretly be rather put out that you haven't done so. This plants a small seed of interest in their mind for you to work on. Remember he or she finished with you because they had lost interest and did not want you any more - you have to change that by becoming someone they really desire and want to pursue and this is just the beginning.

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